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Funny one liner texts

The first thing he'll make is Apple Crumble What's the worst nightmare for a randy pirate? My mum is always saying, "40 is the new 30", lovely lady, just lost her driving licence. A couple of Chavs went to the sperm bank in London, but the day turned into a total disaster, one of them missed the tube and the other came on the bus! My grandad rode national hunt horses until he was run down by a steamroller. A: To Mascarpone! Well, everyone needs a loo read. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor One good thing about egotists, they don't talk about other people. Lone Ranger waits a few minutes, then asks Tonto, "What is it? I've got a new job, crushing soft fizzy drink cans, it's soda pressing. Then things get worse. I'm glad I'm not bisexual. Clever boy! Ireland, everyday it's Dublin. What's the object of Jewish American football? Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with, "oh well, I guess you had to be there.

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Unexpected sex is one of the best ways to wake up,. The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle. Receive my latest posts right in your inbox? Know your limits. I've been on so many blind dates, I must be eligible for a free dog.

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I wanted to sue the airline because they damaged my luggage. Did you hear about the nervous nurse who accidentally dropped a baby she was delivering? I got arrested for selling flags in the street. If there's a storm going on outside, our cat scratches everything in its path, when it rains it paws. It takes patience to listen.. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Why are mountains so funny? What do you call a magic dog? Absolutely fine. During the recent riots in Ireland and Greece the protesters were throwing petrol bombs, can't be doing too bad if they can afford to throw petrol around!! What are your other two wishes? On the web My mate married a Czech girl who took 5 hours to Hoover the living room Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line. Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? As this magician was walking down the high street, he turned into a chemist shop.

Sarcastic One Liners - Funniest Sarcastic Jokes - MISC - Joydeep Deb

  • My mate Jim Apple gets a lot of grief when people ask who he is in France.
  • How do you get a Pikey to take a bath?
  • The problem is no one runs in your family.
  • Mayo neighs.
  • I guess I'm just lucky to have the Nigerian government paying my lottery winnings in next week!!
  • My mate's bought a scooter and written 'The Who' on the back of all his jackets, I think he's having a mod-life crisis.

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by. All one liners Choose by topic For special events New one liners. Flirty one liners. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand. I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future? My love for you is like dividing by zero - it cannot be defined. Excuse me? Do you work at Little Ceasars? Now what's on the menu? If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.

42 Funny One Liner Jokes

Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all Nude mishti in one line. Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians and others are from random or unknown people. My dealer sure has some explaining to do. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. The problem is no one runs in your family.

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Funny one liner texts. One Liners

There are literally thousands of popular one liners in English and also in other languages. This List of quotes and sayings commonly used Fuunny everyday conversational English, can help to speak English like a native speaker by learning English idiomatic expressions and proverbs. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass Guess what it means. Start - Smart Words. One Liners. Famous One-Liners There are literally thousands of popular one liners in English and also in other languages. Funny One Liners When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. The last thing I want to do is insult you.

More From Thought Catalog

It happens even in a gathering of old friends. You want to save everybody from the awkwardness, but your mind is a blank. If only you had planned ahead and had a few one-liners in your back pocket, ready for whenever you needed them…. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion.

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One Line Text Messages - Hindi Short Poetry - Small Wording. Now take care all your needs for greetings. Our writers and researchers do the research for you to compile new one liner . Posted in One Liners, Text Jokes, Witty One Liners. Advice Joke. Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway. Rating: /5 ( votes cast) share me! Posted in Witty One Liners. Politically Correct Joke. Nothing political is correct. Posted in Funny Sayings, Witty One Liners. Advertisements. Absolutely hillarious flirty one-liners! The largest collection of flirty one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 flirty one liners%(2K).

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